He was oxygen and i was dying to breathe
by fanfictionstoris1998
Summary: I wasn't weak, i was strong. I had to be strong, everybody needed me to be strong. But a person can only take so much before she breaks. So that was why I, Clarke Griffin for once was the person needing something. Needing someone.. In that moment the consequences didn't matter, only he did. In that moment only Bellamy Blake mattered.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**Hey guys, so I have been watching The 100 since the first episode, and since then I have wanted to write a Bellarke story(And omg the show just got renewed, I'm so freaking happy!). I love the obvious chemistry between them (They are my new favorite ship), and after episode 8 I couldn't wait anymore to write about them. However for now this is just a one-shot, I would love to make it into a series, but I am not 100 % happy with how this chapter turned out, but I still have a good idea where I want to go with this story if I continue. If you guys like it maybe I will decide to write more. Oh btw there might be some grammar and spelling mistakes, feel free to say so if you see any, and I will correct them... Hope you like it :-)**

I've had it! Just as I began thinking that maybe everything would get a little better, it all comes crashing down. First Jaha had told me that it would be at least 6 months, before they began sending the people from the ark, down to earth. Yes I knew that it would take more than a few weeks, but six months? Maybe even longer, that put a lot more pressure on our shoulders; however the reason behind that decision was what had really shaken me up. There weren't enough dropships, which meant that unless the council found a solution, a lot of people were gonna be left behind to die.

But I wasn't allowed to dwell on it. This was the arks problem, not the 100's. And besides it wasn't like I could do anything, especially now that the radio had died. Or should I say been smashed. Some of the 'kids' had ruined the thing yesterday; this of course had caused chaos to once again run through the camp. People were angry and wanted those who did it to be punished; they wouldn't accept the fact that it was an accident.

Raven and Monty was of course trying to fix the radio, but even if they succeeded it would take some time.  
And as if all this wasn't enough, Finn had to do everything in his power to get on my nerves. He was so upset by the fact that I trusted Bellamy. We had been arguing a lot lately, first he got mad at our decision to bring the guns back to camp, and after that he used every opportunity he had to point out how dangerous Bellamy was. But it was when he began trying to convince me that we had something, and that he couldn't let that go, even though he has Raven, I really had enough. I can't deny that before Raven got here, I thought that we had a chance at something. Finn was always there for me, he was able to get me to actually relax a little, stood by me when I needed someone to lean on, agreed with me on what was right or wrong.

A part of me even thinks that I was beginning to fall for him; however we only shared one kiss. Raven has been his girlfriend for years, and it was wrong to get between that. Yes I was hurt that he hadn't told me about her. Who knows if I had given in that night we might have slept together. Which is why I'm angry at him, cause he didn't even have the decency to tell me. And now he wasn't being fair, to Raven or to me.

And all of these problems had caused me to go over the edge. I needed some alone time. Away from all the buzzing chitchat, and hormone driven teenagers. Away from all the worries, of survival. However the only way to find some silence was to go out of camp. Normally I wouldn't be so stupid to go out alone at night, especially without any form of weapon. However not even Miller who was on watch today, was able to change my mind. Which let me to where I was now.

Sitting down, leaning my back against a tree I took in the sight of the lake. It was beautiful, nothing like I had ever imagined on the ark. When I was younger, my dad used to tell me stories of what it would be like if we lived here, how the stars would look like at night from here, the tree's and water that I always dreamed of seeing, or the blue sky and sun that lightens up the day. I remember closing my eyes trying to picture it in my head. I never came close though, it was so much prettier than I've ever imagined. Yet so horrifying at the same time.

I closed my eyes, while enjoying the silence and freedom, to think in peace. Letting out a deep breath I had been holding for a while, I finally got the chance to stop and just take in everything that had happened in the last two weeks. The grounders that lurks in the dark, mercy killing Atom, founding out my mother's the reason my dad was executed, losing Wells just after we finally reconnected, Charlotte killing herself, Jasper and Finn almost dying, agreeing to let someone get tortured. It was all too much, and I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. I never had a chance to really accept all this, and now it was all coming back at me head-on.

After some time my tears slowed down. Drying them of my cheeks with my sleeve, I knew I had to get back soon; I must have been out here for at least an hour, so I got myself collected and stood up. Just as I was about to make my way back to camp, a sound made me freeze. Fuck. Stupid, stupid Clarke. Didn't even bring a small knife. What if it was a grounder? Shaking my head I went over my options, I could run with all I had, or I could try too…

"So princess are you gonna stand there like a statue all night" A familiar voice called out of the dark.

Turning around I let out a relived breath, standing in the clearing of trees was the one and only Bellamy Blake, wearing that signature smirk of his… This quickly caused my relief to turn to annoyance.

"What the hell are you doing out here Bellamy?"

Crossing his arms, he began making his way towards me "I could actually ask you the same thing"

Mimicking him I crossed my arms too, while answering "I needed to be alone, and have some peace for once, but apparently that isn't possible"

"No it isn't possible, since it's dangerous out here, especially at night. I thought you of all people understood that Clarke" He answered with annoyance clear in his voice.

"I do. But I just needed to get away for a while"

I could see he was rolling his eyes at me with the moonlight shining down at us. It was obvious he wasn't pleased with me, when he finally answered "Yeah well, we can't afford risking your life, since you're the only one with real medical knowledge. So next time you decide to take a stroll through the woods princess? Ask someone to go with you"

"I can take care of myself; I don't need you or anybody else to protect me… Got it?" I said with a hint of an angry tone. I was tired, and the last thing I wanted right now, was to be told what I wasn't allowed to do.

"Oh really? So you don't need me do you?" He asked clearly amused at something, the angriness in his voice, was almost gone. While he raised an eyebrow, I struggled to figure out what he meant, but when I found no conclusion the only thing I could say was "No"

"If I remember correctly you said the exact opposite a couple days ago"

"I.. Well yes **we** do need you as a leader.. But **I** don't need you for protection, or… Whatever else you **think** I meant" I said with authority clear in my voice, I knew he was only trying to tease me, but after having an awful day, I was getting more irritated by the second.

"You also said **you** **needed** me. That's nothing to be ashamed of princess, I hear that a lot" He teased.

He was so full of himself, part of me even regretted telling him that he was needed, but it was the truth. And I couldn't fully regret saying it since he needed to hear it; I still couldn't forget seeing him so broken, so guilty. Yes he had done a lot of bad things, but he wasn't a murderer or a monster as he had said himself. He had made some mistakes, all humans do that, but all in all I didn't believe that Bellamy Blake was a bad person. Sighing I said "Bellamy just go back to camp"

In a second the seriousness was back on his face "I can't do that"

Frustrated I ran a hand over my face "I can't believe you, I will just take a minute and then I'll walk back to camp by **myself**" My outburst only infuriated his anger, and before I knew it we were in an full blown fight. It was ridiculous really but this guy got on my nerves, way more than Finn ever could. The arguing went on for some time…

* * *

"Looks like the **princess** is used to getting what she wants, but you aren't this time" Bellamy mocked and that was the last straw, I was so done with listening to him.

"Yeah well newsflash Bellamy I'm human too. I'm not some robot that's always perfect and do as she's told, I would think you knew that by now. I know it's dangerous but it's **my **life, and if I have to be helpful I need to relax at least once in a while. So yes I'm willing to risk my life, since it's impossible for me to find peace in camp" I snapped, at him, forcing my head to turn away from him, I looked at the moons reflection in the water. I was waiting for him to come with a rude remark, but nothing happened. Looking back I found him staring at me with… with lust?

My instinct took over causing me to take a step back. It couldn't be lust in his eyes. Right? There was no way in hell that Bellamy Blake would ever feel anything similarly to lust towards me. But that look… It kinda freaked me out. I had seen Bellamy angry, frustrated, and determined. I had even seen him cry which was something I had never thought I would. But this look was different.

"Bellamy?" I said reluctantly while looking at him suspiciously… I waited for an answer but again I was met with silence. "Look Bellamy I'm sorry that I was being reckless and went out of camp, but I really don't-"

Further I didn't get. Something stopped me… Bellamy stopped me. I could feel the heat radiating of him, and something was moving against my lips. That's when it registered in my mind, that he was** kissing** me. At first I was frozen in shock, but then instinct kicked in and I began fighting to get him of me, he however wouldn't budge. One of his arms was placed securely around my waist, while the other had a firm grip on my hands, which was trying to push him away. His lips continued to move against mine, and it felt good in a weird way. I couldn't help it; I stopped trying to fight him, and began responding to his lips. It felt good really good; I began leaning more into him. But as soon as it started, it was over.

He loosened his grip on me and took a step back, a smug grin on his face "Well look at that, the princess knows how to kiss"

I should have been angry at him for saying that, I should have been angry at him for kissing me in the first place, but the only think I could think about was the feeling of his lips against mine.

I didn't think when I closed my arms around his neck and locked my lips with his again. I didn't need to; the only thing that mattered was how good it felt, and how much I needed him in that moment. The kiss from before was forced but sweet, this however was aggressive yet passionate. Before I even knew it we were on the ground, Bellamy's shirt along with mine had been discarded somewhere along the way, which gave me the opportunity the run my fingers across his abs, causing him to moan and push himself against me.

I could fell his hardness pressing against my thigh, and that's when I lost all control. I didn't care about the fact that we would both probably regret this later, or that this was my first time. I couldn't think clearly. My mind was foggy like I was drunk or something. And the only thing that mattered was Bellamy and how much I needed him right here and right now.**  
**

**I decided that Finn and Clarke only kissed, but other than that everything is still like the tv series. If I write more you will get to see Finn, Octavia, Raven and all the other character's. And btw I have nothing against Finn, I actually like him, but he and Clarke are sooooo boring. Bellamy and Clarke however is such an intriguing couple, and these looks they give each other.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Yeah that's right guys, I have decided to continue with this story. I wrote this chapter, with the main purpose of seeing if I would be able to make it into more than a one-shot, and I was positively surprised about how well it turned out. So I have decided to make this into a series. I hope you guys like it**

"Ouch" I said, before I could stop myself. I was so distant, that I had let the knife I was holding in my hand, slip a little too much to the right, and had managed to cut myself. Just great… I had thought that helping some of the others with the food, would do me some good, and maybe help me get my mind of what had happened last night. But no such luck.

"Hey Monty, can you get this done for me? I have to go clean this, so it doesn't get infected" I asked while holding my hand up in front of me to show what I was talking about.

"Yup I got. Besides we wouldn't want your blood all over our only food" He said with a teasing glint in his eyes. I thanked him, before I began making my way over to the supply tent. While I checked around to make sure that **he** was no wear near. Letting a relived breath out, when there was no sight of him. I had tried to avoid an awkward encounter all day, and it seems he was doing the same.

Shaking my head, I stepped inside, and made my way over to a bottle with water. Cleaning the cut, I began cursing **him** in my head with everything I had. This was his entire fault, well at least partly his. If he hadn't gone looking for me last night, nothing would have happened. And if nothing had happened I wouldn't be so unfocused. But that wasn't the case. So I would just have to find a way, to forget about it. Yea that sounded like a good plan.

But it was way easier said than done, I couldn't even stop myself. My thoughts automatically drifted back to this morning.

_What the heck was the first thing that crossed my mind when I woke up. My eyes were closed, but I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. The smell of forest was clear like any other morning, and it was so peaceful. I could only hear the birds, and wind blowing in the trees. Mhmm what was I so worried about? This was nice, great even. My body was aching, but I was used to that by now. We didn't really have real beds here on earth, only what we had been able to make from what was left in the dropship, and some of the supplies we had found, in the abandoned shelter. But somehow this was different; it felt like I had slept on the raw ground. Yet I could feel the softness of my pillow. I snuggled closer to it. I wanted more of the warmth radiating of it._

Wait… It was _**peaceful**?_ _That was weird; I shouldn't be able to hear the birds and wind. Why couldn't I hear all the people, it was usually so noisy in camp. And what was up with my pillow it felt like it was… Breathing? What was going on? Forcing myself, I scrambled away from the warmth, sat up and opened my eyes. I blinked a few times to adjust to the brightness. I was in the forest. Looking out at the lake, something caught my eyes. Was that my clothes? Looking down I found myself, in an unknown shirt that was way too big for me. It was the only thing I had on. Besides the jacket, that was obviously supposed to be a form of blanket. No wonder I was suddenly freezing._

_However I couldn't figure out why I had been sleeping out here. My mind was still foggy from sleep, so I couldn't remember what had happened. And the only reason I could find from sleeping out here, in a strangers shirt was… Oh god no! You didn't Clarke... Taking a deep breath, I forced my eyes, to look back at my 'pillow'. A deep shriek escaped me. Right there was Bellamy, wearing only his pants. No! There had to be another explanation! But the proof was undeniable; the memories from last night came rushing back to me. Me going out of camp to get peace, Bellamy coming to check on me, the arguing, the __**kissing**__ and the __**clothes**__ being discarded. I had slept with Bellamy._

_I sprang up and as quickly as I could, I tore his shirt of and began pulling my own clothes back on. Just as I had pulled my jeans up, Bellamy stirred. Shit I had made to much noise._

_Rolling on his side he mumbled "Keep it down… I'm trying to sleep"_

_Sighing but knowing that it couldn't be helped; I stalked towards him, and pocked him gently with my foot._

_When nothing happened i crossed my arms and said" Wake up. The camp is probably looking everywhere for us, we have to get back"_

_That seemed to confuse him, furrowing his eyebrows he rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. __He looked around for a second before his eyes settled on me, a surprised look on his face "Clarke?" __Raising himself up in a sitting position, I could practically see his thought's turning in his head, trying to figure out what was going on "What the fuck is going on he…" He asked, but stopped midsentence when he obviously remembered._

_"Just get up and put your shirt back on" I said._

_He did as told for once, and while he bend down to pick his shirt up from the ground, I couldn't help but blush. Just a few minutes ago I had been wearing it. He turned towards me with the shirt in his hand, and looked at me with a sly grin "Didn't you have this on when we went to sleep?"_

_I looked down, the embarrassment on my face was crystal clear, but I wouldn't give Bellamy the satisfaction of seeing it. Ignoring his question I mumbled "Come on, we have to get back to camp". I turned around determined to get away from here as fast as possible, but a hand stopped me before I even had a chance to take three steps, and forced me to turn around. Bellamy looked so amused, and I knew he wasn't just going to give up on this._

_"I don't remember you being so shy last night princess. You were so forward, when you __**begged** for **more**"_

_Taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I answered with my normal confidence "Yea well I wasn't in my right mind back then. And it would be best if we both forget that night even happened. It was a __**mistake**"_

_"Whatever you say princess, whatever you say" When he said that I knew I wasn't the only one not knowing how to handle this. Normally Bellamy wouldn't give up so easily, but he did now and I was grateful for it. Making our way back to camp in an awkward silence, I couldn't help but remember the feeling of being close to him. I craved it, but I also knew that there was no way this would ever happen again. Shaking my head I looked up to see the walls of the camp. Miller and Phoebe was standing at the door, and when they saw us it was clear on their faces that they had been looking for us._

Yes they had been looking for us indeed. I remember the look of relief on Octavia's face when she saw us, she ran straight into Bellamy's arms and it was obvious that her worry had washed away all the anger she had left for him. We had of course not told anyone what had really happened, as far as they knew Bellamy had gone looking for me, and we had gotten lost on our way back.

Sighing I contemplated what I should do now. I knew I had to go check up on Finn soon, and see how his wound was doing. He was healing pretty well, but of course he couldn't stand sitting down, so he was trying to do as much as he normally would be able to. And if he did something to reckless the stitches could spring up, and that would be bad. So I had to keep an eye out for him, and make sure that he didn't push himself to hard.

However right now he was one of the people I wanted the least to see. I didn't want to deal with all his questions, it was almost even worse than thinking about having to talk to Bellamy. I knew I couldn't avoid either of them forever, but for now I could try. Well I thought so at least. There was a rustling and Octavia poked her head inside.

"I knew I'd find you here" She said

Putting a smile on my face I asked "Do you need something"?

"Me? Nope, but my brother wanted me to get you"

Oh great, just great "Why?"

"Uhm something about training some of the others how to use a gun I think" She shrugged, it looked like she wanted to say something else, and not a second later she hesitantly added "He was acting really weird… Did something happen between the two of you last night?"

I couldn't help it, my cheeks flushed automatically. Taking a deep breath I cleared my throat "No.. We got into a fight, maybe he's just mad at me or something"

"Yea maybe. But hey who cares? We both know that my brother isn't the most cheerful person, he is probably just having a man fit over something ridiculous" Octavia said grinning, causing me to laugh. Ha Bellamy cheerful, nah I don't think I will ever see that side of him.

"You're right. But we better get a move on; we wouldn't want to make him wait"

Octavia rolled her eyes, and got that smug grin on her face, that seemed to be a trademark both Blake siblings had "He will just have to suck it up, he's so demanding that I'm close to being afraid of his mental health, there is no way that it can be healthy to have as big an ego as he does"

She obvioulsy meant what she said, but she still began making her way out. Taking a deep breath, I followed her out of the tent. Time to face reality.

* * *

"God damn it! Didn't I tell you to wait to pull the trigger" I growled at the boy standing before me. He couldn't be more than fifteen. He looked up at me, clearly frightened by the tone in my voice. Good that will teach him not to disobey me. The stupid kid could have killed someone, because he was so freaking eager to shoot at something.

"I'm sorry Bellamy. But I didn't hit someone, so what's the big deal?" He was obviously trying to sound brave, but he was an awful actor.

"The big deal is, that not everybody had moved away from the tree that you were _trying_ to hit. If you had shot even the slightest more to the left you would have hit Phoebe in the fucking shoulder" I said with an intimidating glare, while clenching my fists. Maybe this was a bad idea. Yes we needed to be able to protect ourselves, but some of these kids were murderers. Who knew what they would be capable of doing with a gun in their hands.

And where the fuck was Clarke and my sister? I was out in the woods with eleven of the others from camp, and the whole reason I even send Octavia to look for her, was because I could _use_ her help. Miller wasn't enough to keep track of these guys, and besides he had never fired a gun before. At least Clarke had gotten some practice in the bunker, when we had first found the damn things. I wasn't looking forward to having her this close to me, however it couldn't be helped. It was frustrating really; I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since we got back.

I couldn't forget the feeling of her soft skin, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want to have sex with her again. I was craving it really, but there was no way the princess would ever even consider it. It was a one-time thing. A mistake like she had said. But a guy can dream.

"Bellamy" A familiar voice said bringing me out of my thoughts. Turning I found none other than the Princess herself.

"Took you long enough" I grumbled, while crossing my arms. Letting my eyes wander all the way down to the ground and up again to her eyes, I couldn't help but take in every feature she had. The way she was squinting her eyes at me, clearly annoyed at my tone. Or the way her long blonde hair fell down her back, reflecting her piercing blue eyes. How her clothes clung to her skin, making her amazing curves stand out. She was a sight for sore eyes. Yes there were many pretty girls in camp; I had probably slept with most of them. Both none could ever compare to her, she was so different. And I couldn't help but want her.

"Sorry but I have other things to do too… What do you want from me?" I licked my lips. Mhmm I want a lot of things princess. But none you are willing to give too me again unfortunately.

"I need you to help teach these idiots how to handle a gun, without accidently shooting someone".

She only hesitated a second before nodding her head "Okay let's get started then". She walked over to the other side, where two girls were standing, immediately she started to explain what they should and should not do. My eyes were glued to her. I thought I had a hard time concentrating before, but with her here now, I couldn't even think straight.

What was wrong with me? I had slept with loads of girls before, but none of them had really mattered to me. Clarke however had always been able to find a way into my thoughts, especially as of late. I had held a form of respect for her since she killed Atom, but it changed that night in the bunker, when she said she needed me. She was the only person besides my mom and sister to ever care about me. To ever need me.

I think I have known it for a while know, but it was first now I was ready to admit it to myself. I cared about her too; A lot. I needed her just as much as she needed me.

Gulping I pushed those thoughts away. It was dangerous to care to much, I told myself. I couldnt deny that fact, that it was the truth however. So fine, I admit it, i care about her, as a fellow partner or leader, but there was no way in hell that it would ever become more than that. We would just have to forget last night ever happened, and then everything would return to normal, I reassured myself. It had to.

**So that's it for now guys. Feel free to review, I love to hear about, what others think of my writhing, whether it's positive comments or constrictive criticism. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**Hey guys, first I would like to say how much I appreciate all the reviews, I love reading them. And they actually help keeping me motivated to write more. So please do review, it helps me getting the next chapter done :-) Now secondly I just want to state how much I absolutely, most certainly, without a doubt, truly loooooove this couple, and this show. Each episode makes my week perfect. ****Haha lol.. But seriously it's such an amazing show, and this ship is awesome. ****Now I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :-D**

"It's healed up pretty good. You're free to go" I said answering his question. My response caused a boyish smile to creep up on his face. And I couldn't help but notice, that I no longer found it charming. It was weird that in less than week, I suddenly didn't even feel the slightest attracted to him anymore. I knew that Finn had a certain charm, but it no longer worked on me.

"You have no idea how good that is to hear" Finn said, which only caused me to look at him with a raised eyebrow. Hopping down from the bed he added "I don't think I could have survived being on bed rest even one more day".

I shook my head, and walked over to the self-made sink, to wash my hands "Bed rest? I don't remember you doing any of that, even though I told you to take it easy"

"I did take it easy" He tried to reason.

"No you didn't, you were just lucky that your stitches didn't spring" I pointed out.

"Well that's all thanks to you" He gave me a smile, and began walked towards me; with his hands behind him "And I actually have something for you", he added while putting his hand out in front of me, in it he had… Was that a silver bracelet?

He indicated for me to take it, but I just crossed my arms, and instead asked "Where did you get that?"

"I found it… In _our_ shelter" He answered, all the while smiling like it was the best day in the world.

I couldn't help myself I rolled my eyes "It isn't our shelter Finn"

"It would be if the others hadn't found out about it. Come on take the bracelet, it would look good on you"

Sighing I said "You should give it to Raven, I'm sure she'll love it". My response caused him, to turn serious, and it was obvious he wasn't pleased with my suggestion.

"I'm giving it to you Clarke"

"And I'm telling you that I'm not gonna accept it. Raven's your girlfriend, not me" I replied determined.  
There was no way I would ever even consider agreeing to take that bracelet.

"Raven might be my girlfriend. But you and I, we have something, a connection. And I can't just forget about us" He exclaimed loudly.

I gritted my teeth; he was seriously getting on my nerves now. Clenching my fist I responded with as much authority my voice could muster "There is no _us _Finn. You and me-?" I pointed to him and myself to empathize the words "We're _friends!_ And nothing more"

"Well 'friends' don't share with we did" He retorted, clearly upset about my choice of words.

"We only shared a few sweet moments and a light kiss; And that doesn't mean we have something special!" I was fuming now, why couldn't he just let it go? It was never going to work between us. Firstly he had a girlfriend, and I wasn't comfortable with getting in-between them. And most importantly, I dint feel anything for him, more than friendly feelings.

"We do have something special Clarke! And that kiss? It's more than you have shared with anyone else, so don't try to brush it of like it's nothing" I couldn't help but take in a sharp breath at the last part. It had been eight days, since that night in the woods, and I still hadn't been able to forget.

Both Bellamy and I had pretty much gone back to acting as we used to, but we referred from spending too much time together. And touching each other for that matter. Yesterday his hand had brushed my bare shoulder accidently, and that brief contact alone, had caused me to once again remember the feeling of his hands on other parts of my body, and how good it had felt. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I had completely forgotten about Finn, and our conversation; He however snapped me out of it by shaking my shoulder and calling my name.

Brushing his hand of me, I tried to make him see reason "Finn I don't like you more than a _friend_, okay? So please just let it go, you arn't being fair, to me or to Raven. And btw you don't know what I have or haven't done"

"I don't believe that for a second, but I'll let it go for now. You are right after all. I have Raven and it isn't fair of me to try anything with you, before I figure out what's going to happen with her and me. But Clarke come on, I'm not stupid. Who else could you possible like? You obviously have more sense than to go for one of Bellamy's minions. You know that, that guy is trouble, and so is anyone that follows him" Finn shrugged it off like it was nothing. It was clearly out of question, that I would have ever done something so 'stupid'. Ha if only he knew.

"Fine if that's what you want, but Finn? I mean it, there is no way that you and me will ever be more than friends" I said softly to him, I was trying to make him understand, by breaking it to him lightly. But it was clear that he wouldn't believe me no matter what I said, so after one more minute I decided to just walk out of the tent, and give him some time alone to think.

* * *

I sat down leaning my back against the self-made bed in my tent. I was alone for once, and I used the opportunity to take a draft and a pencil out from under the bed, where I had safely hidden it, and began sketching. I must say it was nice to draw again, I hadn't really had time since I had found the draft to just sit down, and get lost in it. But now that I did, I found myself appreciating every second of it. It was especially nice to just forget all my worries, and the conversation I had with Finn earlier.

Normally I sketched the trees, or the stars, this time however I found myself drawing a familiar face.

I couldn't help it. Since Bellamy was a on my mind a lot lately, it just came naturally to picture him in my mind, and lead them into real images. I got done pretty fast and I was equally content with how it turned out.

Turning a side, I began drawing the tent. Our bed was pretty big, but that was necessary since we slept four people in here. It started out just being me and Octavia, but when Monty and Jasper got tired of all the hormone driven people in the dropshift, they joined us. Raven had even slept in here one time this week; we had kicked Monty and Jasper out making them stay at Finn and Ravens tent, so we girls could have a girly night. I wasn't too keen on the idea at first, but i couldnt deny that I had a great time. It was nice to gossip, and I was happy that we all got along so well, even though there had been some obstacles.

After closing the sketchpad, I put it under the bed. A minute later I heard footsteps, making their way towards the tent. Running a hand though my hair, I expected Octavia, Monty or Jasper to appear. However I was met by an unexpected face "Bellamy?" I said, while taking in his features, he looked good as always "Octavia isn't here" I automatically assumed that was the reason he was here.

He took a step inside, while clutching his left arm with his right hand. Rolling his eyes at me, he finally responded "That's not why I'm here, I need you to lend me one of those bandages"

I furrowed my eyebrow's at him confused. But when he took his hand of his left arm, understanding crossed my features. Jumping into doctor mode, I rushed forward to check the injury. It wasn't too bad, but he had clearly cut himself on something sharp, and it needed stitches. I walked over to a backpack in the corner, and found what I was looking for.

Bellamy glanced at the needle in my hand, and began shaking his head in protest "It's not that deep, and I'm sure it's going to heal perfectly" He obviously wanted to spend as little time in the same room with me as possible, and I couldn't say I disagreed. But I needed to do this, no matter how much I wished he would just walk away.

"Look I don't want to be alone with you, any more than you do with me. But it needs stitches"

His deep brown eyes locked with mine, and his normal grin found its way up on his face "Who said I don't want to spend time with you? But I don't exactly have needles in mind. We could do something** else**" He let his hand run down my shoulder, settling on my waist, I shivered under his touch. Ignoring how much i was craving his touch, I forced myself to shove his arm away.

"We aren't doing anything other than getting your arm bandaged up. I thought that we agreed on that night being a mistake?" I replied.

"We do agree. But we could always make one more mistake princess" He held his hand up like he was going to brush a stray of my hair behind my ear, however made no further move. Instead he winked at me with that teasing glint in his eyes.

"Bellamy" I warned. I had an infuriated look in my eyes, and my body had tensed up.

He held his hands up in defense, while a laugh escaped him "Relax princess, I was only kidding".

"Yeah well stop doing that. And stop mentioning that night" I took a firm grip on his arm, while cleaning the cut, causing him to curse out loud.

"God damn it, don't do that so suddenly" He growled at me, but made no move to back away.

"You deserved it" Was my reply. I took ahold of the needle and began stitching him up.

"Maybe I did, but for fucks sake Clarke, its normal for me to behave like this, you can't be mad at me for it"

I shook my head. I knew that Bellamy was like this, it wasn't unnatural behavior for him to say stuffs like that. But the encounter was still too clear in my mind, to just take it as a joke. However I should have known that, he would take it all in stride, he was after all used to sleeping with all kind of girls. It was nothing new to him. But with me being a virgin before it happened, I had absolutely no idea how to handle the situation.

Before I could stop myself I exclaimed "Yeah well it's all pretty new to me. So I'm sorry i arn't able to handle this as well as you" I was annoyed, couldn't he just shut up for once? Apparently not.

"So I'm really you're first?" He asked, amused.

I wanted to punch him "Yes you are. Intercourse on the ark isn't allowed, when you're under twenty, you know that. I am not stupid though, I know that it didn't refrain most people from doing it. I would probably have been one of those people sooner or later. But I was unfortunately locked up, at seventeen, without any real contact in nearly a year. And before that I was too engaged in my goal to become a doctor to even think about it" I took a break, while taking a deep breath before adding "Go ahead make fun of me". Looking up at him, I found a pleased grin on his face, however he didn't seem to want to use this new knowledge against me. Weird…

"What? Make fun of you? Who do you think I am?" He asked while holding his hand to his heart, obviously trying to sound hurt.

I rolled my eyes. Really he decided to mock me instead of making fun of me? "Seriously Bellamy? Stop trying to act all innocent, everybody knows how big of a jerk you can be" I focused my eyes on his arm again and did the last stitch "It's done, the stitches should hold pretty well, so you're as good as new"

He nodded his head and began walking towards the exit, however when he reached the opening he turned his head around and said "I might be an ass, princess. But I would never sink as low to make fun of you for being one of the few girls in camp, having some self-respect" While giving me the first real genuinely smile, I had ever seen on him since we had gotten down here on earth. He hesitated a second before winking at me, teasingly adding "Besides I'm glad I was you're first".

Walking away, he left me standing alone like a fool with my mouth gaping. Had he really just said that?  
He must have been joking with the last part, however before that he had actually sounded sincere. I couldn't figure him out.  
Bellamy was and would probably always be a mystery to me. But that was also one of the things i found so intriguing about him.

**Half of this chapter, was about Finn, well with Finn in it at least, but it had to be done. Clarke had to face him at some point. Hmm I wonder if he'll ever accept that Clarke don't like him as more than a friend? Well see later on. Now I must say I like how the Bellamy/Clarke moment turned out, and I hope you guys enjoyed it too. There was no Bellamy point of view this time, but if you guys want maybe I can make next chapter in his pov? Leave a comment if you want it to be in his point of view.**

**Have a good day people :-)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

_**Hey people :-) The new chapter is up. I had originally planned to wait for the next episode of the 100, before publishing it, but decided against it, so I'm publishing it now. I hope you guys, enjoy it.**_

_"Still no improvement?" I asked when I saw Monty and Raven sitting alone, near the dropship. They were discussing what options' they had left, to help make the radio work again._

_Monty gave me a resignedly look "No. Everything we have tried so far backfires". He had clearly lost all hope. I let a deep breath out, if Monty had given up, there really wasn't a big chance of ever getting the radio to work again. Letting my eyes drop to Raven, I could see she was pissed that there had been no progress._

_My hand found my face, and brushed a stand of hair out of the way "Isn't there something you guys haven't tried?"_

_Raven stood up, dusting the dirt of her clothes "Maybe but I have no idea what". She crossed her arms and added "But what's the big deal? The ark knows we're alive now, and sooner or later they will be coming down here". She had a point of course; they knew earth was survivable so they wouldn't be sacrificing more people. However it would be nice, to know if they had found a solution so all of the people from the ark would be able to come down here, and not just leave someone behind._

_Besides who knew, maybe we would… "Clarke!" a voice screamed out of nowhere. Looking around I saw that people were gathering around someone. My eyes found Ravens, and we both began making our way towards them fast. The closer we got the louder all the voices were. The people from camp were whispering all kinds of things._

_"Who is it?" A girl asked the boy standing next to her; she clearly wasn't able to see from the mass of people._

_"That's not one of the 100. Maybe it's a grounder" A guy said with venom, and distrust in his voice._

_"It's just a little kid. Who would hurt a young boy?"_

_"Do something" Another person cried out._

_"Move!" a high voice boomed. Bellamy... Thank god he was here, all the teenagers obeyed immediately, and scrambled away, allowing me to see. Miller was standing beside Bellamy, with a young boy in his arms. The kid couldn't be more than seven, and even I couldn't help but wonder who exactly he was. That wasn't what made me freeze though. He was covered in blood. Worry consumed me, and I yelled at Miller to get him into the dropshift fast. He was badly wounded, and I knew that he didn't have a good chance of survival._

_But the thought of him dying freaked me out; he was just a little boy. I had to save him, I just had too. __We reached the dropshift in a matter of seconds and I hurried up on the second floor, to get the needed supplies. I looked around, god damn it where were it? I had to act fast if he should have even a slight chance of survival. I could use my mom's help again, however with no radio that wasn't possible._

_Finally finding what I was looking for, I began making my way back to the door, only to find it closed. Reaching out I tried to open it, but had no luck. It had been locked from downstairs. I screamed out for help, but got no answer. Getting frustrated I began banging my hand against the door."HEY! Open the door!" I listened for a second, but was again met by pure silence._

_"Somebody open the door! He'll die if he doesn't get help" I tried again, and again but in vain. Jumping up I kicked the wall, before leaning my head against it. Why wasn't anybody doing something? Why couldn't they hear me? And why couldn't I hear them? It didn't make sense._

_"How does it feel to be locked up again" A voice called out of the dark, causing me to freeze. That.. That wasn't possible. Pushing away from the wall, I slowly turned around coming face to face with a person I never thought I would see again "Wells" I breathed out._

_"Never thought you'd see me again, did you Clarke?" He smiled at me, but there was something in his eyes that made me wary. He shouldn't be here, he couldn't be here. It was all so wrong._

_"What's going on? You're dead" I said, my voice cracking at the last sentence._

_"I am" He clarified, his voice had turned cold. But if he was dead how could I see him? I hesitated a second before asking "I'm not dead too, am I?" I was half joking, half serious, who knew maybe I'd had a heart attack, or something._

_"No you're very much alive"_

_Letting a relived breath out, I looked towards the door again "The door, it's locked. There's a little boy, who's dying downstairs, I have to get out of here. I have to help him" I hurriedly told him._

_Wells just looked at me and shook his head "You can't save him Clarke"._

_I furrowed my eyebrows at him, what was he saying? He would normally, do anything in his power to help people, especially a little boy. He was acting strange. "I have to try" I argued._

_"He's already dead Clarke, just like everybody else" He laughed, at me, and the look he gave me was so frightening, I couldn't help but take a step back._

_"No! He can't be! I Can save him, I'm sure of it" I decided to try to ignore his weird behavior, and stay focused._

_"Like you saved me?" He retorted with a mocking tone._

_"What are you... You were already dead when we found you!" I exclaimed with pain filling my voice._

_"I'm really tired of your behavior lately. Acting as you can be some kind of hero, when in truth you aren't able to save anyone" His voice was filled with venom when he spat the words at me, causing my heart to clench painfully. Tears were starting to build in my eyes, but I forced them down. "You let me die, you could have been there to stop it, but you weren't. You even killed someone, because you had no way to save him."_

_"I had to, he was suffering, and.. If I.. If I had known I would have saved you" I was stammering the words, I had started crying now and had a hard time uttering whole sentences._

_Taking a threatening step towards me he kept going on "Of course, you say that now. But you can't fool me anymore. You even let my murderer die, not even her could you save. And now that boy downstairs is just one more person to add to the list, one more you couldn't save"_

_I began shaking my head frantically, begging him to stop, it hurt too much "Please stop! I wanted, to save… I wanted to save them all... I tried… I really did""I was sobbing full on now; I couldn't take any more of this._

_"I don't understand you. You're mad at your mom for letting your father die? Haha pathetic, you didn't do anything either, you just watched it all happen. You __**were even mad at me** when you thought I was the one to turn him in. And in all honestly, it's your fault. Everything's your fault Clarke!"_

_"NO! Stop, I can't..." I cried out whimpering. It __**was** my entire** fault**. I should have done something, and it was breaking me apart not being able to change anything. I closed my eyes tightly trying to make it stop, to make it all go away._

_Wells growled at me, and grabbed my arm shaking me hard "Open your eyes" He demanded, but I just shook my head, I didn't want to face it."I said, open your eyes! See what happened, because you were too weak to do anything"._

_Forcing my eyes open, I found myself staring down at the table in the dropshift. The sweet little boy was laying there, blood everywhere, he wasn't breathing, and his face was retorted into a painful grimace. __**'Your fault'**.** 'It's all your fault'. 'Your weak' Not even able to save a little kid. 'Patchetic'. **The voices were everywhere tainting, mocking and paining me.I couldn't take any more of it._

"No!" I called out, while pushing my body forward into a sitting position. My breathing was uneven, and my face was drenched in sweat. Looking around I saw the sun streaming through the tent, and I could hear the people from camp already up and ready to face the day. A dream, I told myself. It was only a dream. Well okay technically it was a nightmare, a horrible one at that. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down. I was used to nightmares by now; I'd had them since my dad was floated. This one however, was one of the worst I had ever had. It had seemed so real, and the dream was so different from the ones I usually had.

It must have something to do with the fact, that there was no chance of getting the radio to work. Raven had clarified yesterday that, it was unfixable. I was probably stressing way too much at the thought of being all alone, not able to get help if we needed it. I had even dreamt about the conversation I had, had with her and Monty about the radio, a few days prior. So that was probably the explanation, for the change in my dreams.

"Whoa, you look… Awful" a voice said, causing me to nearly jump out of the bed, in surprise. Looking up, I found the source.

"I had a nightmare" I replied, while rubbing my eyes, and getting up facing Octavia.

"A pretty bad one, by the looks of it"

A halfhearted smile crossed my lips "Yeah it wasn't the best" I began putting my jacket on after stretching. I had obviously slept in, so I had some catching up to do. "How long have the rest of you been up?" I asked.

She dried her mouth, after drinking some water, and held the bottle out indicating for me to take it, before she answered "Maybe an hour. We didn't want to wake you, since you looked so tired". Geez I still felt tired, but I shrugged it off, walking towards Octavia, and accepting the water she had offered me, gulping it down.

When I was done she added "It's cold outside, winter is clearly coming. I really hope the people from the ark come down soon".

"Me too. But unfortunately, it's probably going to take them a few more months"

She rolled her eyes, before shaking her head "It would be nice to now, when exactly that is"

I raised my eyebrow, while smiling bitterly "It would, but it isn't possible. The radio contact has been dead for five weeks now. And Raven even admitted to not being able to fix it"

Throwing her arms wide open, excavating a little too much "I know! But a girl can dream right. It would be nice to have some decent beds, my back is _killing_ me" she grinned, showing me that she wasn't taking this all too seriously. I couldn't help but smile back though, while shaking my head incredulously. I worried a lot about the in depending winter, I had to. But Octavia had a way to make people see things more positively, even me. "But come on Clarke. Let's get out of this freaking tent; some of the others could use our help to gather some berries" she added.

"Berries? Uhm I think-" I was cut off before I even had a chance to finish.

"Don't even try to come up with some lame ass excuse. You're going! Besides I know you would appreciate some time away from my brother"

I gave her a disbelieving look "You're brother? I um… Why do you think that?"

"Duh, it's obvious. Well at least to me it is. Something weird is going on between the two of you. You both try to act normal around each other, but you can't fool me. I know something happened with the two of you, I might not know exactly what it is, but you have both been acting strange, since you got lost in that forest five weeks ago"

Huh? I had thought that both Bellamy and I had done a great job acting normal again. But apparently, we hadn't. Shit time to deny "I don't know what you're talking about" was my genius response.

"Right. Deny it all you want, you still can't fool me"

Putting on a nonchalantly façade, I did my best lying "Believe what you want Octavia, I'm just telling the truth"

She shrugged her shoulders "Yeah, yeah if you say so. It isn't by business any way. But you're still coming with me today!" Glancing at her I saw a determined look on her face, and knew I wouldn't be able to win. Sometimes she was so much like her brother. He never gave up when he sat his mind to something, and apparently neither did she. Sighing I finally gave in "Fine but just for an hour, I have more important things to do".

"Yeah like what?" She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, obviously not believing me "Never mind. It doesn't matter, were leaving in ten" She began making her way out, and I followed, while trying to push the sudden dizziness out of my body.

**Bellamy isn't in this chapter as you can see, he's only mentioned a few times. He will be in almost all others though, as long as it fits the story that is. But I promise we'll see a lot of him, next chapter. Please review to let me know what you think. Other than that I wish you all a good day :-D  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

**Hey guys**

**So I waited for the next episode to come out before beginning writing this. It is based on the last episode, but isn't completely the same. It might not be the best chapter though; I had a really hard time writing it. But I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

As soon as I saw who was going with us out to gather berries, I regretted giving in to Octavia. She might have been right about the fact that Bellamy and I were acting weird, but apparently she hadn't caught on to the weird vibe there was between me and Finn. Unfortunately it was too late to back out, so that was why I had spent the last two hours, trying to avoid talking to anyone and just gather does damn berries. It was hard though; both Finn and Octavia kept looking at me, like they wanted to say something. I was getting tired of their looks, and whispered conversation, why couldn't they just ask me whatever it was that were on their minds? Shoving some more berries down in the basket, I finally got myself collected and turned around to confront them

"Okay what's going on?" I asked giving them a look that meant business.

They shared a quick glance, before Finn stepped forward pulling me to the side, out of hearing distance for the other three people with us. "Clarke" He started, but hesitated a second before continuing "Um… we set up a meeting with the grounders".

Well that certainly wasn't what I expected "What!? You can't be serious. They want to kill us Finn"

Octavia snorted, but stayed quiet otherwise, letting Finn do the talking "I talked to Lincoln and he agreed. He doesn't want a war, and I know you don't either"

"Who's Lincoln?"

This time it was Octavia answering me "The guy that you agreed to torture, even though he saved my life" She gave me a mean look. I considered apologizing to her again, but I knew she wasn't really mad at me anymore so I chose to just let it pass.

"Wait a minute, he agreed? That means they speak English" I exclaimed, with a brief disbelieving look crossing my face.

Finn nodded his head "Yeah. Lincoln got their leader to agree to a meeting with ours"

I raised an eyebrow, not really believing this to be a good idea, but still wanting to at least hear them out "Well then why are you talking to me? I'm not our leader"

"We all know that my brother wouldn't even consider it, and besides Lincoln thinks that their leader would listen more if it where you representing us" The hope shinning in Octavia's eyes, made me look down at the ground. I knew it was a big risk to take, but it would be worth it in the end, if we could avoid a war.

I sighed "Okay but we are bringing backup"

"No way!" Finn shook his head "They said no weapons"

I ran my fingers through my hair. He got to be kidding me "We have to be able to defend ourselves, what if it's a trap?"

"Clarke we have to do this, I trust Lincoln. It will be okay, as long as it's just the three of us"

Of course Finn would say that, even though it was risky "You trust him? He tried to kill you Finn! How did you even get to talk to him?" Instead of answering me he just shot a quick glance at a blushing Octavia. Right I should have known as much.

Shaking my head I gave him the response he wanted to hear "Fine, I'll give it a shot. Let me just get back to camp to gather some things"

They both broke out in a smile, with satisfaction clear on their faces. Finn told me he would wait for me until I got back, while Octavia took off in advance. Heading back I found my mind set on one thing only. Finding Bellamy.

* * *

Did I have to do everything myself? I had only been gone for an hour, and everybody had apparently decided that they were allowed to take a break. Looking around I growled out loud at the sight. Hadn't I told them to collect enough branches to last a few days? We would be lucky if there were even enough to make a fire tonight. However when they saw, Miller, me and a few other guys where back with a dear, they all soon scrambled away to get on with their job, clearly excited for the big meat that would soon come from the animal. Shaking my head, I looked around while trying to find the source for everybody's laziness.

I came up empty-handed, and not wanting to waste any more time searching, I just grabbed the closets person by the shirt "Hey you! Tell me where the heck Cliff is?" I demanded. Glancing at the person I saw a young girl, probably only fifteen. I considered asking more politely, not wanting to scare her, however she didn't seem too frightened by my tone, so I decided against it. "Over by the supply tent, I think" Was her response.

Nodding my head at her in a silent thanks, before turning my attention back to the task at hand. I stomped over to the supply tent, Cliff and some other guys soon saw me making my way towards them. Reaching my destination, I gave Cliff an intimidating glare, making him take a step back "I left you in charge! And what do I see when I come back from hunting? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I gave you a job to do, but instead you just fool around" Looking at him, the irritation was clear in my eyes and voice.

"Bellamy it wasn't -"He started but was caught short by my glare.

"I don't want to hear it! Just get a fucking move on, and go make yourself helpful" Luckily he knew not to push me, and hurried away. The other guys soon followed wanting to help him.

Standing alone I found myself briefly looking forward to the people from the ark coming down for the first time. It would be nice, not having to deal with all those idiots, not doing as they were told. Yes there where some ups with being the leader, but this wasn't a responsibility I had thought I would be left with, when I decided to come down here. My main purpose was to make sure Octavia would be save, but now I found myself responsible for everybody else's lives as well.

It would be nice to just take a day off from it all, but no such thing was possible. Shaking my head I was just about to make my way over to help start the fire, but was stopped before I reached my destination.

Letting a smirk on my face I turned around already knowing who had grabbed my arm, before facing her "Princess" I exclaimed. I had been wondering where she where, since I hadn't seen her all day. Standing before me, I could see she meant business and I briefly wondered what I had done now to piss her of. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"I need your help" Okay so that was not exactly what I had been expecting, raising an eyebrow at her, I waited for her to continue. "Finn set up a meeting with the grounders" She breathed out.

Wait… Spacewalker did what? Oh fuck no, that had to be the most ridiculously thing I had heard all day "What do you mean 'spacewalker set up a meeting'?" I crossed my arms. There had better be some other explanation for what I had just heard.

The princess rolled her eyes at me "He talked to the grounder we tortured, and they set a meeting up with their leader and me. And before you ask, yes they speak English"

I growled I fucking knew it; he had understood me all along. Stupid bastard "Well tell him to cancel it, it's a stupid idea"

"I can't do that Bellamy. I'm going. We need to at least try this, instead of starting a war that could have been avoided" She replied stubbornly.

"No! It's too dangerous princess" How could she agree to this? The grounders couldn't be trusted, they would probably kill her as soon as they saw her, and I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't let it happen. She meant too much to… Um to the group to lose her, we just simply couldn't risk her life. Well that was at least what I told myself. I wasn't able to admit how much it would probably hurt me, if she where killed.

"I know it's a risk and that's why I need your help"

I furrowed my eyebrows "And what can I do to help?" She couldn't seriously be asking me to help convince them to make peace? Could she?

"I do agree with Finn on this being a chance we have to take. However he is stupid to think that we can blindly trust them. So I need you to be our backup… Secretly"

Hmm that made more sense "Backup huh? Well since I don't think I will be able to change your mind, I guess it sounds like a plan" I decided to agree, but god help me if the grounders tried anything I wouldn't hesitate to kill them. They wouldn't be allowed to hurt anymore of our people as long as I was able to stop it, especially not the princess.

"Good take one or two more people with you… And Bellamy? Bring guns"

I gave her a short nod, before heading out to find Jasper, that kid would be helpful. I considered taking Miller too for a second, but decided against it when I saw Raven standing next to Jasper. Hmm those two would have to do.

Grabbing them I told a short recap of what was going on, and they both agreed to help. Raven mostly because she was pissed at Finn for not telling her what was going on. And Jasper just wouldn't pass on a opportunity like this one. We took a few guns, and then headed out, not knowing what would happen but hoping for the best.

**It's not as long as some of the other chapters, but it'll have to do. The next one should be out either tomorrow or the day after. And by the way did any of you see the promo for next week's episode? I just saw it and I have to say it looks EPIC (And terrifying). I can't wait for it to air :-D**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**

**Hey guys**

**I had written both this chapter and the next one, last weekend, but my computer didn't work when I went to upload, so I had to have it sent in to be repaired, and I just got it back today. The next chapter is probably first going to come out some time tomorrow, since I want to rewrite some parts of it. But I'll get it done as soon as possible :-) Enjoy the chapter. **

I heard them first, they were still out of sight, but the rustling behind the trees were an obviously sign that they were getting closer. Looking to my right, I glanced at Lincoln and Octavia. They were stood close to each other, and Octavia had a tight grip on Lincoln's arm. I nearly smiled, they were cute, and I had to admit I understood Finn a little bit more now. Lincoln seemed sincere, and I had a hard time believing that he would really want people to get hurt, whether it was ours or his own. But the rest of the grounders, I couldn't help but worry about. I wanted this meeting to go well, but I couldn't ignore the bad feeling in my stomach.

A slight touch on my shoulders woke me from my thoughts. Looking up I found Finn's eyes set on something in the distance. Turning my head back to see what had gotten him so distracted; I couldn't help but let a gasp slip out of my mouth. It weren't the grounders that had taken me by surprise, not directly at least. It was their way of traveling. I looked at the magnificent creatures before me, clearly fascinated by them. No wonder that we were able to hear them, even when they were so far away.

"Is that..?" Finn looked slightly taken aback and weren't able to finish his sentence.

I nodded and answered declaring what we all saw "Horses. Yes"

Pushing my astonishment aside, I looked at Finn and we both prepared to meet them at the middle. We started to make our way across the bridge, but was stopped before we reached our destination.

One of the grounders spoke up "Only you" he pointed at me and the message was clear. I found Finns glance and he suddenly looked hesitant. Taking a deep breath, I forced the fear away and cleared my voice "It's okay, go back Finn"

As he slowly obeyed and began making his way back towards Lincoln and Octavia, I settled my eyes on their leader. A woman. She had gotten of her horse, and was heading towards me. I shot a last glance back, and my eyes automatically searched for Bellamy. He was of course nowhere in sight, although I knew that he was watching us, ready to help if needed. I had been a little bit worried that he might do something stupid when he saw Octavia and Lincoln, but all in all I felt a little bit more safe knowing that he was here.

Taking a few determined steps I soon stood face to face with the woman. We looked at each other for a few seconds before she spoke up "I hear your name is Clarke?" I gave a short "Yes" Before she continued "I'm Anya".

I started to raise my hand but stopped mid motion when she glared at it. Letting it fall back to my side, I said "I know we got off to a rough start, but it is in our best interest if we find a way to live in peace"

"Peace?" She snorted "You should have thought about that, before declaring war"

"War? That's exactly what we are trying to avoid, we don't want a bloodbath"

She raised an eyebrow at me, but otherwise her face was stone cold "You don't want a war cause you have no idea how to end it. But that does not justify your people sending missiles to burn one of our villages down"

I looked at her shocked by her words " What? We didn't…" my voice floated away, and understanding crossed my face "That weren't meant to happen. It was for others of our people, we had to let them know that we were down here"

"That does not matter, it happened either way. And you forget about the fact that your people tortured one of our own. How are we supposed to live in peace, when you have already done so many acts of war?"

I was beginning to get worried, that this was not going to end well "And your people have killed three of ours. But we want to put it in to past and move on, there's no need for more people to die" Looking at her, I could see that even through my words had some effect on her, she was still not too pleased with me.

"And how do we make sure you don't go back on your words? Lincoln told us that there are more of your people coming"

I nodded my head at the last part "We don't know when, but sooner or later the rest of our people are coming down here. And if we still aren't at peace? Then they won't hesitate to kill you"

"You're words are wise, and then not. How can we know that they won't kill us anyway?"

"You can't but you'll at least have a chance if we're at peace. Our people's technology is too advanced for yours. When they come down, you won't stand a chance, and they'll wipe you all out" I tried to reason with her. The grounders might be dangerous, but I hated the idea of slaughtering them, when we could all come to a solution and maybe even become allies one day.

Just as she was about to answer a voice yelled out "Clarke! Run! It's a trap! There are grounders in the trees" I spun around just in time to see Jasper making an appearance. Then his words really clicked and I forced my head to look up at the trees. I didn't have time to think, I only managed to get a quick glance at them before an arrow was flying my way. I hurried to the side to avoid it; luckily it only graced my arm slightly, but left no mark. Meanwhile all hell had broken lose. Gun shots was all that could be heard, and I saw a grounder fall to the ground.

I made a move to run back, but was however shoved to the ground. Looking up I found Anya with a knife in her hand, ready to kill me, I braced myself for the cut, but instead of attacking she stumbled backwards while the knife slid out of her hand. I saw the blood where the knife had been, and my mind tried to put the pieces together. Looking back up I saw Bellamy with his gun raised, and it dawned on me that he had shot her. He had saved me again.

I heard my name being called, and wasted no time running towards the voices. Finn were now also yelling at Octavia to follow Raven and Jasper who were standing in the clearing of trees, she was however too occupied by freaking out over the arrow that now sat in Lincolns left side, even though it was obviously meant for her. Reaching them I helped Finn and grabbed Octavia's right arm, at first she wouldn't budge, but when Lincoln spoke up and told us to get her out of here, she reluctantly let us drag her away.

We disappeared behind the trees but still kept running, not planning to stop before we reached the walls of camp. Finn had caught up to Raven and Jasper, who were a few steps ahead of me and Octavia. Bellamy was behind us, still looking over his shoulders while he ran; ready to shoot if they followed us.

I didn't remember it taking so long getting here in the first place, and back then we were walking, but now it seemed to take forever. We were all running out of breath and it was like we were getting nowhere. It took a few more minutes, before we finally saw something familiarly. We were almost at camp. I slowed my pace down to jogging, instead of running full speed; letting Octavia, Raven, Jasper and Finn out run me and disappear. Slowly moving forward I expected Bellamy to catch up to me soon, but when he didn't I turned my head to see he had slowed his pace as well. We had both apparently come to the same conclusion. The grounders wouldn't follow us now; they would wait until they had more people to fight us with.

I considered to stop running, and just walk the rest of the way, but decided against it. It was after all better to be on the safe side. Just before I were able to see the walls of the camp, high voices reached Bellamy and me. They were yelling, trying to pin the blame of what had just happened on each other. Raven was up in Finns face and she was obviously pissed. But what surprised me to most, were that Octavia were accusing Jasper for being the reason the whole meeting turned out as it did.

Bellamy had stopped a few steps ahead of me, and I found myself slowing down before I stopped moving all together. I had intended to just wade over there trying to talk them to reason, but the same dizziness I had yesterday stopped me. The yelling kept getting worse, and through the blurriness I heard Finn confronting me about bringing guns and not trusting him. I tried to find my voice so I could answer him; I really did but I had no luck. Everything was beginning to disappear; the others soon noticed and finally stopped yelling.

Bellamy was the first to react, taking a step towards me "Clarke?"

I held a hand up on front of me, stopping him from doing anything else "I'm… Fine" I took a deep breath trying to clear my vision, but it didn't help. When I spoke again my voice was weak "Just… A little… Dizzy" I wanted to say something else, to ensure them that I was okay, but I didn't get a chance, everything went black, and the last thing I heard were the others voices calling my name. Bellamy's stood out the most, probably because he was the one to catch me, when my knees gave out. At least I think he was.

* * *

"But who attacked first?" Miller said repeating his question again. I didn't really care about who made the first move, no matter what spacewalker thought or said. They had brought weapons too, and I was almost certain that they had wanted to kill us. Octavia and Finn should be grateful for Jasper seeing them and reacting, he had probably saved us all. Yes there were a slight chance that they had just been backup like us, but we didn't shoot first they did.

"It doesn't matter" Was my response "How's Clarke?"

"Still not awake. But I think she probably just fainted, cause she were scared out of her mind"

I gave a low growl at his answer. The princess afraid? That weren't possible, she must have been dehydrated or something. When she collapsed I had felt the fear curse trough me, but while caring her back to camp my nerves were slightly calming. There had been no blood, and when we had finally reached the dropship I found myself a little bit more relaxed when there was no injury. She hadn't been shot, or hurt. After getting Octavia and Raven to check for injuries two more times, I had forced myself to leave.

Feeling a little bit irritated by Miller I told him to find a few more people than usual to keep watch at camp. We had to be prepared if they decided to attack again tonight. As he disappeared I made my way towards the gate and took a step outside camp, looking out for sign of any grounders. I stood there for some time before I finally heard footsteps behind me. Took Miller long enough, I thought. Turning around I found Miller nowhere in sight. It was Clarke who had decided to show up, I felt relieved and pissed at the same time "What the heck are you doing princess? Last time I checked you were in bed and unconscious"

She gave me a slight smile that didn't quite reach her eyes "I'm fine now". I furrowed my eyebrows at the look on her face, she were clearly deep in thought.

"I might not be a doctor, but even I know that you aren't fine when you just suddenly drops unconscious"

Sighing she said "I was dehydrated, nothing else" Her voice came out low and it was as if she were trying to convince herself about it just being to lack of water that had made her faint. I was about to retort when a gasp escaped her, she took a step forward looking at something in the sky. My eyes followed hers and a chuckle escaped me while I gave her a grin "Looks like your mom is early princess. It didn't take six months after all"

A real smile lit up on face, but as soon as it got there it were gone, she furrowed her eyebrows while worry consumed her face instead "No something's wrong"

"Come on Clarke be happy, this is a good thing, no need to worry all the time anymore" I said still not looking away from her face.

She shook her head and pointed to the sky "No Bellamy look! The ship isn't slowing and the fire…"

Confused by her words, I looked up again. I gulped, she was right this was wrong. A few seconds later the dropship crashed somewhere in the distance and the landing caused a big explosion. A sob escaped Clarke, and I found myself wanting to punch something. There was no way anybody could have survived that crash.

**Again I used some of the themes from last week's episode, but the next chapter isn't going to be based as much as this one was on the show. And omg I absolutely loved the latest episode, there were some sweet Bellarke moments! However I'm not sure if I am going to use some of the themes from the episode in the coming chapters yet. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

**Hey everybody :-)**  
**I'm so sorry that I'm first updating now, I should have been done yesterday with this chapter, but while rewriting the first part of it, I got a huge case of writers block. However the second half of it I decided not to change a thing about, I like it just the way I wrote it last week. So I hope you guys like it too :-D**

Heading out to where the dropship crashed, I knew a horrifying sight awaited us, but I still hadn't been prepared for this. The ship had smashed into pieces, parts from what it had once been, was scattered around the burned ground. Some of the pieces were even still on fire. I had seen a lot of terrifying things in my life, I could handle it. A few others who had come with us were however totally grossed out. It was understandable though; I even staggered a bit when I saw the bodies. Most were burned to the bone, so that only the skeleton was left, a few others had some burned skin but it appeared that only pieces of their bodies were left behind.

Still having a tight grip on my gun, I finally peeled my eyes away, and turned to glance at Clarke. Again. I don't know why, but I couldn't help but look at her every few minutes, perhaps it was because a part of me expected her to break down any second. There was a good chance after all; that her mom had been one of the people on that ship, so it would be normal if she began mourning. It never happened though; she had only been out of it for a few minutes after the ship crashed, before she put on a brave and calm front. She was obviously just as horrified as the rest of us, but she didn't show any weakness. I shook my head; she really was a _brave princess_.

Letting my eyes roam, the surroundings one last time I knew it was time to leave. Raven was still looking for something that would give us an idea of what had caused the ship to crash, it was however totally irrelevant. What had happened couldn't be helped; we couldn't change it. So there was no need to waste time on it. Taking a step forward, I cleared my throat making sure everybody could hear me "Okay that's enough! There's nothing left here, so it's time to get a move on and get back to camp"

This caused Raven's head to snap around and glare at me "We need to find out what happened first!"

For fucks sake did nobody care about staying alive? Apparently not since it was more important to waste our time on something we couldn't do anything about, instead of getting to safety "What we _need_ is to get back, so that we can prepare for an attack" I said authority clear in my voice "The grounders can retaliate, any moment, and we need to be ready if they come"

I waited for Raven to put up a fight, but luckily she knew I was right and choose to give up, only mumbling a few insults about me being too hot headed under her breath. Her stupid spacewalker of a boyfriend however, weren't as smart "Yeah well we can hardly blame them, if they decides to attack. You have already made sure that they hate us"

I clenched my fists, he really was an idiot. Putting a scowl on my face I retorted "That's on you spacewalker, I weren't the one believing that we could trust them"

"No but you were the one to bring guns, and that is hardly a good idea when you're trying to make peace"

I was about to reply when a voice cut through the argument "Stop it! Both of you! We have no idea what would have happened, if we hadn't brought guns. It might have ended better than it did, or we might have all been killed" Leave it to the princess to be the reasonable one.

Even though she didn't exactly say I was right, I still felt content with her reply. It was nice not always disagreeing with each other. But spacewalker seemed outright hurt and angry at her words. He must have thought that she had changed her mind, and that she would suddenly back him up on his stupid theories.

I gave a short nod in agreement before I said "Clarke's right. It could have gone either way. We can't change it, and right now we have more important things to worry about" Finn looked ready to argue again, but I quickly cut him off by adding "So now that, that is all cleared, let's get back to camp. Connor and Cliff? Stay behind us and keep an eye out for any grounders" My voice was demanding, I didn't need anybody to disagree with me anymore today, and luckily nobody questioned my leadership any further.

As we began making our way back, I decided to confront the princess. Slowing my pace down, she soon caught up to me. She raised her eyebrows in a questioning manner but still stayed quite, which forced me to be the first one to break the silence "We need to discuss what to do about the grounders"

"We can't really do anything, other than be prepared"

A part of me knew she was right, but I still couldn't agree to just sit around and wait for us all to be killed, so I shook my head and said "Yes we can, we should begin fighting back"

She gave a short snort before answering "No we shouldn't. We doesn't even know if they are gonna attack" Giving me a pointed look, she began walking faster.

"You know as well as I do, that they will retaliate sooner or later princess"

She stopped short a few steps ahead of me, turning her head to give me a glare "Of course I know that" She was sounding a little bit pissed. Great, just great... I had thought that we might have been able to come to an understanding, well I had hoped at least. Shaking my head I waited for her to say something else, at first she stayed quite, but it only lasted for so long before she broke it by saying "I don't like it any more than you do, but it would be stupid of us to attack them first"

I was about to open my mouth, to tell her how stupid it was to do nothing too, but the tired look on her face shot me up, and I let a "fine" out instead. She had been through enough the last couple of days, and it would do no difference if we made a decision today, or tomorrow. It could wait, for now at least.

I silently cursed myself in my head. Since when did I let something pass, just because of someone being tired? The answer was of course never, but with this I had given in so easily, and all it had taken was for me to look at her and see how exhausted she was, and I had just let it go as if it were something unimportant. Stupid princess that makes me worry about others; that makes me worry about _her_. If it had been anybody else, I wouldn't have given a fuck, but it's Clarke and she means _something_ to me. Whether it's as a fellow leader, a doctor, a friend or maybe something _more_ I don't know. But she means something, and that's what made me put her first. The decision on what to do could wait, it would freaking have to wait.

* * *

I walked into the tent, wanting to just collapse on the bed and sleep a whole month, but knowing it wouldn't happen. At first I was so tired that I didn't even notice that Octavia was sitting on the bed, so I nearly jumped ten feet in the air when she spoke "Raven told me that it was horrible, no wonder you look so exhausted"

Not understanding what she meant I just gave a "huh?" Joining her on the bed I let a deep breath out.

"The crash… I'm so sorry Clarke, it must have been terrible for you" She said, and I fought the urge to cry back, I couldn't let my walls down because of what had happened. I had to be strong, now more than ever.

"It was. I think it took its toll on all of us, even Bellamy looked defeated" I knew it wasn't what she had meant, but I hoped she would let it go, but her being Octavia she was of course way to worried to just let it pass.

She rolled her eyes at me though "You know that wasn't what I meant. It was different for you… Your mom could have been one of the people on that ship"

"I know" was my only response. And it was the truth; I knew that it was a possibility. Before we lost contact with the ark, we were told that the first people to come down would be doctors, guards and a few councilmembers. My mother was both a member of the council and a doctor, so she could very well have been on that ship. But I wouldn't let it get to me, not until I knew for sure.

"Well if you need someone to talk to... I'm here"

I smiled at her and put on a tough look "Thanks… But I'm fine for now"

"Okay… As long as you're sure?"

Instead of saying yes I blurted a totally different thing out "You know when I first met you; I thought it was weird that you and Bellamy were siblings. You are always so worried about everybody… and Bellamy is, well Bellamy" I was worried that I had offended her for a second, before she got that familiar smirk on her face.

"Oh I can be as big of a pain in the ass as he can, trust me. And Bellamy worries in his own way… But you already know that now don't you?"

I laughed before answering "Yeah… I guess I do". Bellamy reallyt did care more than he let on. At first he might have only cared about Octavia, but now he wanted everybody to be safe. Yes he had a sucky way of showing it, but he worried about the people in camps safety just as much as i did.

Looking at Octavia I saw her let out a brief grimace; I furrowed my eyebrows before asking "Hey are you okay?"

She nodded and quickly answered laughing "Yup just PMS pains… It really sucks being a girl sometimes doesn't it?" She was grinning at me, most likely expecting me to let a laugh out too. Not wanting to worry her, I forced a laugh and said "Yeah it sucks"

"Well I'm going out, for a bit. But you should really get some sleep Clarke, you deserve it" She jumped up and said a quick goodbye, before disappearing. I was too deep in thought to give her a reply, so I just sat on the bed not even looking at her as she walked out.

I gulped, going over every possibility in my head over and over again, but coming up empty handed each time. _'No' no' no'_ _'no' 'no 'no' _just freaking NO! I ran a hand over my face in frustration, there had to be another explanation, there was no way this could be happening.

I tried to tell myself that I was being paranoid, that I was just stressing too much. The doctor in me knew better however. It could technically just be because of stress. But combined with the dizziness the nausea and the fainting, it looked less likely than the other possibility.

Calm down I told myself, while taking deep calming breaths. Think Clarke just think, there must be something you have missed. Wait… The injection that all teenage girls had gotten on the ark!

"Thank god" I breathed out loud to myself; I had totally flipped out over nothing. I would still have a few years before the injection stopped working… or not. Shit! How could I have forgotten? Stupid stupid stupid. Why didn't I think? I had only gotten _one_ injection, and that was when I was thirteen. It was only supposed to work for tree or at the max four years.

I hadn't gotten my second round of it like most other girls. I was locked up just before I was supposed to have it, which meant that I would still be able to reproduce. And now my freaking period was late.

**So** **I had this planned out for a while, though I rethought it when I saw that a lot of Bellarke stories were going down this road. I decided not to change it though. Please review and let me know what you think. Oh and I might take a few days away from the story, just so I can get past my writers block, so sit tight until next time guys **


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